WRANGLERS' CANYON/CRASH WALKER Double Novel Out Now!

Meet Crash Walker: a man too obtuse for trouble, too lazy to kill anyone, and in addition incredibly boorish, self-centered and incredibly good looking enough to earn contempt from everyone he meets, especially from other men. He is the star of my double novel set WRANGLERS' CANYON/CRASH WALKER.

The western novel format is an extremely limited one. Most stories from that era are rigidly defined; they have to be, of course, since they are confined to a specific point in time. The standard western tale has been told countless times via literature, television, radio shows and motion pictures for over a hundred years. The biggest challenge for me was to write something fresh within that classic genre.

I made a concerted effort to avoid the current nouveau Western clichés by drawing on a pair of disparate influences: With Wranglers' Canyon I went for a more surreal approach, so I used Alejandro Jodorowsky's classic film "El Topo" as a major influence, but more importantly I drew from the erotic horror films of Jean Rollin and Jess Franco.

As for our hero, Crash Walker, although he populates both novels, no two stories could be more different; in Wranglers' Canyon our hero is a floater, drifting between jobs as a cattle driver, ranch hand, rodeo rider, singing star, convicted criminal, ultimately promoting to Sheriff of Jonestown. He accepts the role forced on him.

In the second novel Crash Walker,which takes place 100 years later, he's a western television star in Hollywood during the post-JFK era. This time he’s the target of an ominous conspiracy to exploit him as a puppet politician propped up to serve a small Californian committee of powerful businessmen. In the second novel, unlike the first, he doesn’t accept the role forced on him.

He’s also charged with the murder of a right wing television star, making him simultaneously famous and notorious, but not quite the way he wants it. Through it all he films toy commercials, performs publicity stunts, makes public appearances, visits his mentally insane missile designer father, and dodges an even more mentally unstable ex-girlfriend.

Walker is even more of a fantasy figure in the second novel than in the first one, i.e. his name isn’t even real, it’s a showbiz name created by a casting agent. While the first novel challenges the bridge between fantasy and reality, the second one has its feet firmly planted in reality with our star earning his keep with fantasy.

TV westerns were a major pop culture force during the Sixties, putting our hero squarely in the center of the action in Hollywood, placing him at Sunset Boulevard parties, teen festivals by the beach and Hollywood movie premieres. If it happened in the Sixties then Crash Walker was most likely there.

The book you’re reading is presented in the double novel format so popular during the paperback publishing boom of the Forties and Fifties. Both novels have been joined together in one volume because in addition to starring Crash Walker they also have parallels in characterization and plot development. This was a surprising coincidence, given that both novels were written four years apart of each other.

In both novels Crash Walker responds to a whirlpool of turbulent change forced upon him by men of control, greed and societal pressure. These are tales about troubled times and the man who meets them head on.

Wranglers' Canyon/Crash Walker, Andy Seven’s double novel is available for $3.99 at all popular eBook retailers, including:
Amazon Kindle:
http://www.amazon.com/Wranglers-Canyon-Crash-Walker-Seven-ebook/dp/B0149J3P8Q/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1440213205&sr=1-1&keywords=9781483557540
iTunes:
https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/wranglers-canyon-crash-walker/id1032555968?mt=11
Nook (Barnes & Noble):
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/wranglers-canyon-crash-walker-andy-seven/1122574654?ean=9781483557540
Oyster:
https://www.oysterbooks.com/book/APoGRc2kxCC2tR8NZvJNtm/wranglers-canyoncrash-walker

Each website provides a short sample - about four chapters worth - of the novel for previewing before purchase so you can see what deviltry is brewing in this shiny beast.

Blood On The Saddle Bag

Howdy, Saddle Pals, it’s that time again. I see that Pony Express rider slowly trudging into town carrying a heavy loaded sack of fan mail from all you boys and girls. Mr. Pony Express Man says, “Next time get a stage coach or a train to carry all that mail, Walker. You’re killing me and my horse with all them messages!”

Ha,ha,ha…Thank you, boys and girls, for all your cards and letters sent to yours truly, Crash Walker c/o Wranglers’ Canyon, brought to you by the good folks at Bosco, the United California Bank, and the kind folks at Honeywell. Let’s dive in to some of these letters now and see what’s shaking!

Tito Polanco from far-off Honduras says, “Dear Crash, I like the way you shoot your gun. How many bullets does your gun carry? Can you kill at the least ten bad men with your gun? Mumblin’ Pete always makes me laugh. It is good he can kill. Please excuse my bad English”. No problemo, Tito.

Darrell Duares from Detroit, Michigan writes in and says, “You should have Sailor Jerry get into some bad shoot-em-ups, his hook holding a Colt .45, yeah that would be bad”. It sure would, Darrell!

By the way, kids, don’t forget to ask your Mom and Dad to buy you the Crash Walker repeat action rifle from Remco, it is the authentic replica of the one I use on my show. All you need to do is add your Greene Stick-Em Caps to get your barrel smoking and you’re all set! You can shoot bad men along with me while you’re watching the show, Tito.

Three cheers to the Osaka, Japan chapter of the Crash Walker Official Fan Club. Moshi moshi, boys. Lookin’ real sharp in those ten gallon hats and six guns. You’ll be ropin’ steers in no time, just like your hero Crash. Sayonara!

EXTRA! EXTRA! Got a few requests for pen pals in Yugoslavia, Cypress and Finland who want to chew the fat on all things Wranglers’ Canyon. Anybody game?

Suzy Whitechapel, 16, from Cardiff, Wales wants to know when is Crash Walker going to fall in love and will she be a hard-ridin’ cowgirl? Well, honey, I don’t rightly know, there sure are a lot of fetchin’ fillies who tried to put the reins on me, with very little success, heh heh. All I’ve got to say, Suzy, is keep watching Wranglers’ Canyon and drinking your Bosco or whatever you kids in Wales drink.

Rolf Heine from Hamburg, Germany writes, "Saying what is Mumblin' Pete? Understand what he says, do you? My bad English you will excuse". Welllll, to tell you the truth I don't rightly know what Mumblin' Pete's saying, Rolf, but it sure do makes sense at the time. By the way, Rolf, is Hamburg next to Frankfurt? Your parts sounds like you German folks got some mighty good eats!

Well, that’s about all the time I have to get to your questions and requests. It sure was nice of you all to write to your old frontier pal Crash. Now don’t forget to do your homework, do your chores, be nice to your brothers and sisters, go to church on Sundays, drink your Bosco and watch Wranglers’ Canyon every Friday evening, 9 PM Pacific Standard Time and 10 PM Central Time, and may The Good Lord take a liking to you!

It's After The End Of The World

The second half of 2010 was more eventful than the first and I made some important decisions, most importantly to retire from soul-crushing work at Los Angeles County in late 2011. After I retire I will probably dedicate myself to designing and making clothes for Viva Rebecca, a great and promising future. Here is the Top 10 events that happened for me in late 2010:

10. I took some great artisan bread baking classes at Sur La Table. I also got a bread maker and made all kinds of great bread.

9. Los Angeles was cold and wet for most of the year, even during most of the summer so I had a two-month long virus that could only be cured by getting in the sun in Palm Springs and staying out there until I burned it all out.

8. Rebecca designed a great red leather cooking apron with Splatterpunk stitches sewn in. I love it!

7. Since a year has passed since my tattoo I donated blood again. Everyone should do this; it's painless, doesn't take very long to do and benefits everyone, even all you misanthropes. I even got some great Cold Stone Creamery coupons for my trouble.

6. For Rosh Hashanah I bought a shabbos menorah (candelabra) that looks like it belongs in some Barbara Steele movie, like "Castle of Blood" or "The Long Hair of Death".

5. Designed a pair of striped dress pants with a cool leather waistband and belt loops sewn in (pics to come in a future blog).

4. Saw Mark Sultan (aka BBQ from King Khan and The BBQ Show) at Spaceland. He played a great set doing his ultra-mega powerful one man band act. I stood by the exit and saw more people angrily storm out of the club than I'd seen in a long time. I don't know what they expected, but they looked so fuckin' mad it was weird.

3. A segment of "Hell's Kitchen", the food truck challenge, was taped at the LA County Hall of Administration (my workplace) it finally screened in November, and footage of me walking ten feet in the background while Gordon Ramsey's talking to his nimrod contestants can be seen within the first 15 minutes of the show. Yeaaahhhh!

2. Captain Beefheart died at the end of the year, and although he hadn't played music in almost 30 years he lives on as the patron saint to all uncompromising musicians everywhere. With the passing of icons like Beefheart and Sun Ra an era of trailblazing avant garde music is gone.

1. My very first serial, "Crash Walker", modeled after Quinn Martin Productions-type "Man On The Run" television shows from the Sixties (The Fugitive, Run For Your Life, Coronet Blue, The Invaders) successfully published on my blog, and will soon see trade paperback publication. Watch this space. An even newer serial begins later this month.

Well, that's it. 2011 shows lots of promise and I'm absolutely, positively sure it's gonna rock harder than 2010. Anything would! Batten down the hatches - full speed ahead.