Minstrels Anonymous on Bandcamp

Thursday, April 28, 2011

The Andy Seven Inventory

It's every disgruntled worker's fantasy to walk off the job, but how many actually do it? Well, two months ago I did. I was so angry when I walked off I left my things on my desk, and you have to be seriously pissed off to do that. A month later I received two boxes of my things FedEx'ed to me with a packing slip some poor soul at work probably had to type out, so just so his/her efforts weren't in vain, I give you The Andy Seven Inventory:

1 Bottle TRIMSPA Dietary Supplement (approx. 20 pills)
1 Bottle Gaviscon Extra Strength Antacid (approx. 30 pills)
1 Bottle Armani Code (Cologne)
1 pr. Sunglasses in black case
1 Bottle Apple Pectin 500mg (approx. 90 pills)
1 pr. reading glasses in gold case
1 Bottle Aspirin 325mg 3 brown pills; not aspirin (How do they know? - Andy)
2 pack Zantac Maximum Strength (approx. 18 tablets)
1 cord Motorola phone charger
1 Hair Brush
1 Desk top 2011 Taschen Magic Calendar (Highly recommended! - Andy)
1 Bottle of B-12 Dot Vegetarian Formula
1 Halogen Lamp Bulb
1 pr. scissors
1 Cigar, Optimo Peach
Andrew Sevrin Nameplate
1 pack of LA County Sheriff's Dept. Breath Mints
2 Elle Decor Magazines (11/2010 & 12/2010)
1 Toy Coffin (Retail Slut painted on it) (The only good thing I got from that store - Andy)
5 Plastic Las Vegas Coasters (Black & Red)
1 Box of Kleenex (Did they count the tissues, too?- Andy)
1 Cake of Memorex CD-R's
1 Mouse Pad Artistic Painting (Dali's "Persistence of Memory" - How ironic! - Andy)
1 Set of Small Earphones for to digital audio (SIC) (Hello, they're called earbuds - Andy)
3 Packets Starbucks Iced Tea (SIC - it was coffee) Instant Drink Mix
2001 Thomas Guide Los Angeles and Orange County
1 Bottle Fantastik Cleaner
1 Staples Stapler
2 Boxes of Samoas Girl Scout Cookies
1 Envelope with 2009 Birthday and Holiday cards
1 Frame with Certificate from Department of Children and Family Services (DCFS) - Outstanding Support Staff : Director's Employee Recognition Award - August 2005
1 Certificate of Appreciation - Los Angeles County Registrar - Recorder/County Clerk's Office
1 Vintage Can of Schlitz Beer used to hold pens/pencils
1 Ceramic Frog Figurine with 7 quarters, 6 nickels, 3 pennies, 1 dime
Salt & Pepper shakers (1 each)
1 Halogen Desk Lamp
1 Best Buy gift card ($25 value)
1 Starbucks gift card ($15 value)
1 Maggiano's gift card ($25 value) (I wonder if it's good at the bar? - Andy)
1 small tin TRIMSPA with 3 red tablets
1 small tin with thumb tacks
1 Tide-To-Go Spot Remover pen
4 boxes of matches
3 Cigarette Lighters
2 Cologne Samples (POLO and HUGO BOSS)
1 tin with pennies ($0.67)
1 coin from Costa Rica (50 colones)

Well, there you have it: an inventory list that summarizes what makes me tick. A lot of pills, smokes and sexy cologne to seal it all up. And I'm back doing what I do best, making cool clothes. Goodnight, everybody!

Thursday, April 7, 2011

The Low Spark of High Heeled Boys

Blame it on glam rock, blame it on the glitter scene, yeah, I accuse David Bowie, the New York Dolls, T.Rex and all the other glittery suspects for making me love the platform shoe fetish. Nigh on forty years later I still feel the need for high-heeled wheels. The first time around I had an awesome pair of metallic bronze shoes with gold-tinted metal 3" heels and matching soles. Unfortunately at the time I was still a growing teenager and the shoes caused temporary damage to my spine, i.e. one leg grew longer than the other, so my doctor prescribed orthopedic shoes I had to wear in between forays to Rodneys English Disco, the Riot House and the SM Civic Auditorium (home to Queen, Sparks, The Sweet, etc.).

Even though it was a sign of the times if you fast-forward to the Nineties grunge days I still gravitated towards boots with a healthy 2" Cuban heel. It wasn't out of some short man's neurosis; I stand one inch less than 6 feet tall. And speaking of tall guys in taller heels:
No one appreciated that more than Lux Interior who wore transvestite heels every night on stage (and probably off-stage too). For all we know he's probably buried in a pair of high heels. I certainly hope so - I want the same burial wish!

Just what is it that makes platform shoes so special? Well, for a start: 1. I like the leverage to the carriage when you walk in high heels.
2. High heels also improve your posture as you're beholden to standing up straight and erect when you walk, otherwise you'll probably fall flat on your face.
3. You can't beat the killer silhouette you'll cast when you wear platform shoes, your body lifted up on a leather-bound pedestal. Watch the shadows cast by these elevated shoes, i.e. the Brett Smiley cover pictured above. It's simply a damn great look!

Now that my spine worked out its curve and my legs are of equal length I can comfortably wear high heels at my leisure. The styles are still there thanks to shoemakers like Demonia, Fluevog, Aldo, Rad Hourani and J.P. Gaultier's even getting into the act. It won't be long before we hear the low spark of high-heeled boys again.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Freakbeat April Fools Day

When is a good song just a little bit over-exposed? When its called "Hold On", danceable and groovy but simply not worthy of so much extensive coverage, so in the spirit of April Fool's Day, I give you..."Hold On".

Rupert's People aka Les Fleur De Lys
The first band to interpret this freakbeat masterpiece, so masterfully done it needed to be released under two band names, Rupert's People and Les Fleur De Lys. Both band names are pretty forgettable.

Impsissimus decided to do a quasi-Deep Purple reading to this rugged, manly classic, perfect for belt-whipping groupies and assorted biker wenches. Garrr!

Jason Crest
Jason Crest's career hit rock bottom with their "Black Mass" ode to Satan and other sinister agents of darkness. Here they are covering this freakbeat classic.

Sharon Tandy
And the winner, of course, is Sharon Tandy, crooning in a sublime Dusty Springfield breathiness that adds a much needed sexiness to the song.

So how about it, cutting edge kids of garage rock, its time for you hip commandos to whip up your cover of "Hold On". There aren't enough versions of this magnificent song!