Christmas Drunk

He tossed his Jack and Cola - and blessed the baby god
He slammed his boilermaker
His head floated away from his bod
He crawled right out to his shitty ass bomber
Burning the shit all out of his starter
The he peeled on out - ASS OVER ELBOWS
ASS OVER ELBOWS, ASS OVER ELBOWS

Ran down the flagpole, broke it in half
Barfed on the schoolyard lawn
What a Technicolor yawn!
Jerked off on the church steps
SPILLED HIS HOOCH ON THE DMV
Threw his cigarette butt away
Years of paperwork - UP IN FLAMES
UP IN FLAMES, UP IN FLAMES

Sax solo: Nervous Breakdown by Black Flag

Picked his nose on that shiny Nixon statue
You won't have him to kick around any more
CRYING ABOUT CHECKERS, THAT STUPID DOG!
He let it go at the Ronald Reagan Library
Peein' like a demon, LIKE A 20-MULE TEAM
Dry humped the 3 Wise Men in the manger
Didn't treat the Virgin Mary - LIKE A STRANGER
LIKE A STRANGER, LIKE A STRANGER

Passed out in front of Frosty the Snowman
Got his busted by the policemen
36 HOURS IN A HOLDING TANK
Lost his boring job at the 1st National Bank
He was a Christmas drunk
TOO MUCH HOLIDAY CHEER!
Thrown out on the street - ASS OVER ELBOWS
ASS OVER ELBOWS, ASS OVER ELBOWS

Guitar solo: Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer, Jingle Bell Rock, etc. mo' Xmas noise

c1998, Andy & Rebecca Seven (Scuzzbuster Music/Wigglin' Fool Music, administered by Bug Music, BMI)