Sunday, November 2, 2025

So You Want To Be A Rock And Roll Bot

I never planned on returning to music. At this late stage of my life the last thing I wanted to do was harbor fantasies of being a big rock star. I deliberated with myself about presenting my poetry in the best way possible, and I knew that producing poetry books was falling down a black hole of obscurity. The success of a Bukowski or Rollins is a one in a million possibility.

Poetry books unfortunately don't attract people, and poets are generally laughed at in the United States, a country that amuses in literary shaming. If Stephen King is the national bard of choice then we're in deep shit.

Poetry readings with music have always fared well, though, from Patti Smith to Gil Scott-Heron to John Cooper Clarke to The Last Poets. I created sonic landscapes to go with my poems, and I enjoyed these crude, primitive recordings. The best testing ground for my work was to post it on SoundCloud, a sort of aural You Tube where you can just check in and listen to anyone's music for free. Like it or not, SoundCloud is one of the best because it doesn't have that Bandcamp "You reading or you buying" vibe about it.

But, but but....SoundCloud has its set of stalkers and sharks like any other site, too. Which brings me to my story (sorry it took so long). Two months ago I posted a poetry track called Smog. It got a few hits and likes, and then I got a message from someone who claimed he was an A and R (Artists and Repertoire) aka talent scout.

The DM went something like this: "Hi Andy, this is John from R****E Records. I stumbled upon your work and was blown away by your talent. We're currently seeking artists to join our roster, and I think you'd be a great fit. Let's explore possibilities. Please share your email address so we can send over more information on our offer".

Okay, I gave him my email, and his response was, "Thank you for your response! The Chairman will reach out to you with additional details about this exciting opportunity. Please check your inbox and kindly respond at your earliest convenience. Also, make sure to follow my SoundCloud page so you can stay updated on our latest opportunities and releases".

So, I got an email from the Chairman at R***E Records, and the first thing I did was look up the label, and lo and behold, this was not only a real label, but one that had serious cutting edge artists on their roster, in fact, I even owned some of these records! Now I was getting excited. If I recorded for these folks I'd be in serious company.

I even did a Wikipedia search on the label and the label CEO listed was the "Chairman".

Okay, here's his email: "Hello, This is L*** M***, CEO of R***e Records. We had a chance to check out your sound, and to be honest there’s a spark there that’s hard to ignore. The rawness, the energy, the originality, it’s the kind of foundation that can go far with the right push.
Our label was built for artists like you: creators who are ready to take what they’ve started and elevate it. We don’t just sign artists, we invest in them, making sure they’ve got the team, the guidance, and the creative freedom to break through in today’s industry.
I’d love to connect and talk about where your music can go from here, and how R****e can be part of that journey". Cool.

I gave him my phone number, but he didn't call. His response went like this: "Hello Andy. Thanks for your interest. I’m excited to connect with you!
To dive deeper into the deal we’re offering, I’d like to arrange a brief meeting via Microsoft Teams. This will give us a chance to review the details, address any questions you might have, and map out the next steps".

So, I met him on MS Teams and he began the conversation with this: "Hello Andy. Welcome to this exciting opportunity! I’m truly looking forward to collaborating with you and supporting your growth with the R***e Records family.
Before we dive in, I want to set clear expectations for how we’ll work together. Due to the high demands of my current schedule, I won’t be available for in-person meetings or calls at this time. For security and documentation purposes, all communication will be conducted here via instant messaging. This allows us to keep everything organized and professional while ensuring we stay focused on your success. I trust that works for you, and I appreciate your flexibility".

If there were no in-person meetings or calls how will anything get done, and where's the personal contact an artist requires? This was getting weird.

So, the CEO ran down the history of the label and offered the following perks for me as an artist, and frankly it sounded incredibly far flung for an avant-garde independent. Dig this:

"What We Offer
• Publishing + Distribution – Seamless global distribution across Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon, and more.
• Financial Support – Funding for equipment, software, studio sessions, and other essentials so you can focus on the art.
• Marketing + Promotion – Strategic campaigns including playlist pitching, digital ads, media exposure, and content creation.
• Creative Freedom – We respect your vision. Our role is to elevate, not control.
• Professional Network Access – Connection with respected producers, engineers, and brand partners to accelerate your career.

Why R***e?
We’re not just a label, we’re a partner. Our focus is authenticity, long-term development, and real relationships. We tailor our approach to your unique goals and sound, making sure your career remains true to your vision".

Now look, I've made records for a lot of indies and none of them can or even want to provide all this shit. "Financial Support"? Bullshit. And don't even talk to me about publishing, the bread and butter of all composers. Once they own your publishing they can do whatever they like with your work. And...by the way, did he even mention my track Smog at all? Or any of the other tracks I posted on SoundCloud.

Quite frankly, this entire rap didn't even sound like a real person, but some AI-generated hustle that no artist would even find believeable. Here's my response to all this fairy tale spininng:

"I see, I already have publishing, so I'm fine there. What I'd like to do is to submit my next album to your label and you can distribute it if you're interested.
I currently have three albums that are available on all streaming services out there, but it would be cool to have my next release on your label". No response.

"Your label attracted me because you lean towards the avant garde - Medeski Martin + Wood, Sex Mob, etc. It's great company. All my records are spoken word with music landscapes, so it's a little off the beaten path for some". No response.

I addressed all the pie in the sky perks he had promsied by saying, "I would probably just hand you an album to release and not ask for any kind of financial advance, so it wouldn't be a huge investment". So I had responded to the Financial Support, Publishing and Recording features I was supposed to be dazzled by. No response.

THE CEO HAD VANISHED

And then returned the next day on MS Teams without contacting me in advance with this strange message:

"Good morning, Andy. For my questions:
Section 1: Introduction + Background
1. Where were you born and raised?
2. What are your hobbies or interests outside of music?
3. What’s the highest level of education you’ve completed? (Include your field of study if applicable.)
4. What typically sparks your creativity or inspires your music?
5. What’s your current employment status?
6. Have you received any music-related education or training (formal or informal)?"

WTF, this guy is insane. What is this ridiculous AI-written shit? Imagine sending this horseshit to PJ Harvey or Bud Powell. Do you really see yourself doing business with an AI-communicating dunce." My hobbies. Employment status"...Poet? Isn't that enough? Ya think? Thank God recording my poetry is just my pastime.

*************

In addition to appearing on poetry compilations it's incredible to participate on some avant-garde music compilations where my poetry can reach a wider audience. Dawn of Darkness from Chile have added my tracks Slumgullion and Transfigured Night to their latest comp, The October Experimental Compilation. You can find the compilation on both ReverbNation or The Internet Archive for free doewnloading. Here's my poem Transfigured Night for your poetry listening.

Friday, August 15, 2025

Your Father Told Lies And Your Mother Kept Secrets

Islington High Street

It was so very long ago
so very far away
it would last until the break of dawn they said
after all it’s banker’s holiday

One year short of Jubilee
Bicentennial summer was too lame for me
A California Yankee in Queen Elizabeth’s court
with catwomen, batwomen and a beautiful dark banshee

Something nicked not borrowed
something black and blue
destroy everything that’s old
we’ll show you the wonder of the new

That old decrepit theatre
became a circus with a purpose
with long goodbyes and tattered hellos
and the ghost of Ivor Novello

Topless girls dance to the Rollers
Kenneth Anger’s on the screen
Jackson Pollock’s army is in formation
like an ancient Roman’s dream

Something nicked not borrowed
something black and blue
destroy everything that’s old
we’ll show you the wonder of the new

The singer knocked out his funny tooth
with an old radio microphone
you can click your heels until they bleed
you’re far, far, far away from home

On Your Feet Or On Your Knees

Everything always started out as something
and something always came from nothing
I used to beat a path to The Pussycat Theater
Sunset 'n Western
it’s a Mexican revival house now
from Traci Lords to the House of Lord

On your feet or on your knees

Same story down Hollywood 'n Cherokee
cops cutting work at The Pussycat that’s a fact
swivel recliner seats
‘n the seats would squeak, rock and strain
Amber Lynn Christy Canyon Ginger Lynn
now it’s an Iglesia De Dios

On your feet or on your knees

They got on their knees on the silver screen
‘n they still get down on their knees
either way what can you say
they still end up catching a disease
Triple XXX rated with your money shot
pass the plate Maria in the name of God

On your feet or on your knees

Transfigured Night

I journeyed through the bleak black forest
It was such a black forest
clouds of black velvet
leaves of purple satin
grass like patent leather
in the cool damp nighttime weather

Dogs, rabbits and cats
mice, monkeys of all kinds and rats
some had their fur shaved
paws, eyes and claws
missing from a scientists’ blade

Animals marched along with me
monkeys swinging through the nocturnal trees
cells were exploding in my blood stream
monkeys shrieked and screamed

I reached into my pockets
there was enough to feed them all
some of them fought and played
I was there for awhile
don’t know how long I stayed

Bless you dear critters
for the lives that you’ve saved
but I’ve got incurable cancer, you see
I’m going to die, anyway

And the rats climbed around me
rabbits hopping round my feet
hamsters started to squeak
all the dogs licked my hands
cats rolled on their backs
and the monkeys flew from the trees

All poetry copyright 2025, Andy Seven Ltd.

Friday, July 18, 2025

If Poets Could Fly They'd Be Pissing On You

Smog

We held hands in the polluted gloom
looks of love over our respirators
there's a sun out there
somewhere
the sun and the stars
know the way
if we can see them through
sheets of brown and gray

Smog, smog, beautiful smog
choke and belching sets you retching
gasping and rasping like The Covid Kid
night time afters
huffing up white cocaine
day time smog
above the fruited plain

I can't see you because of smog
all I see of you are signs
in the form of gray outlines
we can't film today because of smog
the mayor hung himself because of smog
dirty air has you crying
this grimy cloud has no silver lining

Carrot In The Donkey's Eye

Well the wheels keep turning
engines never quit burning
stacks pumping steam
belching out toxic plumes of smoke
when the week's all done
what's left of your dreams

why ask why
it's the carrot in the donkey's eye

Where are my pennies from heaven
you can't sock it
how do you coin it
how do you get it
with hole's burning right through your pocket

why ask why
it's the carrot in the donkey's eye

If you want to feel like a common workhorse
come one come all
and join the exhausted workforce
but the devil has your back
cause you're whoring out for cash

why ask why
it's the carrot in the donkey's eye

Sing for your supper
and you pay the piper
all the well meaning creditors
all the smiling predators will make you a debtor
for the rest of your life

why ask why
it's the carrot in the donkey's eye

Slumgullion

Four witches stirring up
a boiling cauldron
what's that smell
it stinks like hell
tastes like a bowl of old bouillabaisse and rotting onions
could only be slumgullion

Juliet lies dead
and all the birds have fled
the fish lay upside down
love's labour lost all around
spare the dagger childe it's all in fun
just eat the slumgullion

Willie the Shake
made a terrible mistake
as you like it well I don't
Portia and Banquo didn't
eat it for pleasure
they tried to shoot it measure for measure
just say no dear Hamnet son
pray don't try the slumgullion

Well the nights of midsummer
drive jaded pagans to plunder
Titania my Titania
surrendered to Oberon
just for a sip of his enchanted
slumgullion

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are still dead
but they’re luckier than Yorick
alas poor one just another shrunken head
Ophelia and Cordelia
had as much as they could stand
as Othello mainlined slumgullion
into the veins of his hands

(what a turn up for the books)

All poems Copyright 2025, Andy Seven Ltd.

Friday, June 27, 2025

Longhair Music For Your Pod Player

When I noticed that I had an extra mp3 player that wasn't being used after a brief analysis I decided to load it with my favorite classical music. I didn't have a voluminous classical collection, but I had enough to keep a player full and varied so that things wouldn't get boring.

There's quite a variety of pieces in my player: chamber music, sonatas, opera excerpts, symphony excerpts (not the whole thing, never), baroque pieces, musique concrete, horn trios, etc. I've also included the early synthesizer works of Wendy Carlos, Ruth White and Daphne Oram, as well.

Formatting classical music to an mp3 player is a lot different than formatting rock or jazz tracks because some pieces go over the five minute mark. The whole point of an mp3 player is to keep the tracks brief and keep things moving, so to speak. I'd rather have the three best pieces from Mussorgsky's Pictures At An Exhibition than have the entire works. Brevity is your friend.

Some of my favorite pieces on my Longhair mp3 player include:

1. Joan of Arc At The Stake - Arthur Honegger. Imagine a German composer writing an opera about the great Joan with the libretto in French! I don't think I've ever heard an opera sung in French, and it's such a beautiful language for opera. Honegger's melodies are so gorgeous and fluid for an opera, too. This is definitely a must listen.

2. Paganini's Violin and Guitar Sonatas. Who knew Paganini wrote sonatas for guitar instead of piano? The guitar beautifully complements the wildly athletic violin passages Paganini is so notorious for composing, and the melodies are absolutely exquisite.

3. Debussy's Solo Piano Pieces. I never knew Debussy lived long enough to record his own solo piano works, but yes indeed, it's there for your enjoyment and he’s quite an excellent pianist.

4. Wild episodic symphonies performed by Eugene Ormandy like the Don Quixote Suite by Richard Strauss, dramatic washes of strings like shifting dunes of sand, or Harry Janos Suite(Kodaly) with its nutty circus sounds or Lt. Kije Suite by Prokofiev, quirky carnival-like UPA cartoon show sounds.

5. Weird, almost jazzy carnival orchestral music like the Petrushka Suite by Stravinsky with its odd, barrelhouse piano and atonal brass section.

6. Then there are the quiet woodwind and horn chamber pieces from Paul Hindemith (who even wrote a tuba sonata that's pretty wild), Johannes Brahms, and Aram Khachaturian.

7. If you liked the nightmarish, horrific music from Stanley Kubrick's film The Shining, may I suggest the works of Iannis Xenakis, Krysztof Penderecki, or Edgard Varese's dark masterpiece Deserts. Great, disturbing melodies.

8. After listening to all these works, I must confess to a fondness for French composers above the rest, composers like Maurice Ravel, Francis Poulenc, Camille Saint-Saens and Claude Debussy. They have the best feel for melody and their rhythms move much smoother then German and Russian composers. There's less rigidity and formalism in their pieces.

Anyway, beauty is in the ear of the beholder, you might find Rossini preferable to Varese or Charles Ives preferable to Bizet. But give these guys a spin, you might find yourself in the middle of the night lying in bed hearing their haunting melodies playing over and over in your head.

All artwork by the legendary Al Hirschfield.

*****************

Two weeks ago I dreamt Jackie Kennedy drove me to a farmer's market on the corner of Pico and Robertson in a sumptuous Cadillac. The streets were filled with thousands of people milling around and shopping. Mrs. Kennedy parked in the opposite direction of traffic, and handed me a large sheaf of bills and told me in her sexy, seductive voice to get quarters for the parking meter. I looked down at the sheaf of bills and they were all hundreds. I left the car and wondered how I was going to get coins out of a hundred dollars. The rich they are a funny peoples.

****************

So, a website called QuoteFancy has two quotes of mine, probably culled from Goodreads, up on their site with some jazzy artwork. This is, as Frankie would say, koo-koo.

Friday, January 31, 2025

The Show Must Go On

Baby, although I chose this lonely life
It seems it's strangling me now
All the wild men, big cigars, gigantic cars
They're all laughing at me now

When I was a teenager I saw this boy from England who dressed like a circus clown, he was a space age Pagliacci and his voice cracked when he sang about the circus. It was something you remembered for a long time.

New Years Eve 2025. All my favorite DJ's on Twitch wished everyone a Happy New Year, getting into the festive spirit which unfortunately escaped me. Donald Trump cheated his way to victory the month before, and any feelings of hope for a brilliant future were dead. The country was going to return to a malaise of hatred, idiocy and xenophobia. I lived in a country that always insisted on doing the wrong thing. The year to come held no promises, ominous threats but no promises.

New Years Day 2025. I celebrated the coming of the new year with a drive down Pacific Coast Highway. Driving by the scenic ocean side was deliciously breathtaking, sun kissing the blue sky and beaming, gleaming against the waves of the sea as I drove down the road. It looked heavenly.

Speeding past the movie star restaurants, post-war motels haunted by John Garfield's ghost, seafood shacks ("All the shrimp you can eat-Best clam chowder in town"), Pepperdine College, The Getty Villa (where I once worked), surf shops, and beautiful gated estates that ran for acres.

Then there were all the beaches of Malibu, Will Rogers State, Dan Blocker Memorial, Topanga Beach, dumpy Malibu Lagoon State Beach and Malibu Bluffs Park with its skateboard ramps and snakes slithering all around the trails. And leave the gophers alone. A little further down there was endless Zuma Beach, followed by rustic Lechuza Beach. As soon as I reached Sea Level Drive I'd turn around and head back to the big city.

Oh, I've been used, ooh-hoo
I've been taken for a fool, oh, what a fool
I broke all the rules, ooh, yeah
But I won't let the show go on

Monday, January 6th. My primary sent me to Cedars-Sinai Hematology-Oncology Center in Beverly Hills. He identified an alarming surplus of white blood cells in my system and set an appointment for me to go in for further testing.

Tuesday, January 7th. Los Angeles was stricken by Santa Ana winds blowing at 100 miles an hour. Whenever we get them brush fires are always inevitable. Winds were blowing at such a powerful speed you could feel the propulsion of the wind nearly blowing you down. When the Santa Anas blow this hard power cables collapse from their towers and ignite dry brush. It happens.

During my lunch break at the medical center where I worked I looked out the window to see big black plumes of smoke billowing out from the hills a few miles away. It looked perilously close, but we stayed inside. I went home and watched the destruction on television. Everything that I had just seen a few days ago, my private paradise, had been destroyed.

Baby, there's an enormous crowd of people
And they're all after my blood
I wish maybe they'd tear down the walls of this theater
And let me out, let me out

Wednesday, January 8th. The medical center I work at is in Brentwood, a few miles away from Pacific Palisades, so we've been advised to stay home that day. Staying home wasn't much safer, though, because parts of the Hollywood Hills were also on fire. Smoke from that fire wafted into my apartment, and I woke up coughing up tons of phlegm for an hour. I also had non-stop dysentery that lasted for 24 hours. Ashes fell all over my car like toxic snowflakes.

The phone rang and it was my doctor from Cedars-Sinai Hematology. My blood test results came back and they tested positive for CLL, Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia.

The news of having leukemia came as a surprise to me because I've only felt a few benign symptoms, just fatigue and shortness of breath. I didn't have any large lymph nodes on my body and my spleen wasn't swollen, which are the more serious symptoms. My doctor told me that CLL is a very slow-moving cancer, meaning that serious symptoms may take years to take effect, so at the present time treatment wasn't necessary.

"In fact, based on your previous blood tests you've had it for years but nobody tested you for it until now", he said.

American Cancer Society: Chronic lymphocytic leukemia (CLL) can rarely be cured. Still, most people live with the disease for many years. Some people with CLL can live for years without treatment, but over time, most will need to be treated.

B-cell chronic lymphocytic leukemia (CLL) develops from a type of white blood cell called B cells. It progresses slowly, usually affecting older adults.

CLL may not cause any symptoms for years. When symptoms do occur, they may include swollen lymph nodes, fatigue, and easy bruising.

Well...what can a poor boy do? My Altadena and Malibu friends have lost their homes in the fire, so I'll kick down some funds via GoFundMe, LA Regional Food Bank and other charities that'll help them. It'll be a good distraction from the fire inside me.

Oh, I've been so blind, yeah
I've wasted time, wasted, wasted oh, so much time
Walking on the wire, high wire, yeah
But I won't let the show go on

The Show Must Go On, written by Leo Sayer & David Courtney, copyright 1973 Silverbird Songs Ltd/Queen Music Ltd.