One day I was on Instagram looking at one of those beautiful apartment accounts, thinking how my apartment fell short of all those glamorous digs I was looking at. These homes didn’t look expensive at all; that wasn’t their edge. They just had comfortable details my place lacked. Let’s forget the ever-present candles; I never trusted that whole candles in the bedroom gimmick. It’s dangerous as hell. I’ve heard enough horror stories to stay out of that nonsense.
The string lights I already had going on, fine, but what I noticed was an abundance of cushy rugs and lush green plants. Eureka, I needed more of both, in spades. I purchased a few awesome rugs from Rugs.com, which made my place look a thousand times better. I was getting sick of that hardwood floor look, anyway. I didn’t want my flat to look like a Richard Hell movie from the Seventies anymore. But what about plants?
Buying flowers was one thing; change the water every two days and fingers crossed they won’t die on you in less than a week. You’ll eventually throw them in the bin, and that’s that. But plants are a whole different story.
Owning plants is not unlike having pets. No, they don’t lick your feet or claw up the couch, but they’re living, breathing creatures who just as passionately demand your attention. Every species of flora has its own personality, needs, and yes, moods that require just as much attention as your squalling pooch. In their own way, plants are just as reactive to their environment as any living animal. They just express it differently.
Here’s the leafy pets I’ve acquired so far:
UMBRELLA PLANT
The Schefflera plant is sometimes referred to as The Umbrella Plant for its fanned-out leaves. I was instantly attracted to its lemon-lime markings. This plant only needs watering every 10 days (!). If you overdo it the leaves go brown and fall off. The Schefflera is toxic to pets and even slightly toxic to people, too.
RATTESNAKE PRAYING PLANT
The Calathea Lancifolia is a striped tropical plant originally from Brazil and doesn’t like a lot if sun, so it actually prefers sitting in a dark corner. I have it sitting around my dark alcove, and it’s flourishing. It’s called a Praying Plant because the leaves fan out in the daytime, but at night close up like hands in a praying position. By 4 AM they open up again, so my guy must be living by Eastern Standard Time.
SWISS CHEESE PLANT
I like the Swiss Cheese Plants’ real name, the Monsterra. This is one of those plants that grow long, clinging vines that wind all over the place. It’s called the Swiss Cheese Plant because the leaves have cool holes in them, giving it a very mod look. This is another plant that likes indirect light, so don’t stick it in front of a window, where the sun will scorch its leaves. Didn’t know plants had such severe cases of sunburn, but it’s the emes.
POLKA DOT PLANT
The Hypoestes plant is also known as the Polka Dot Plant or the Measles Plant. This plant is generally considered to be the ultimate drama queen of all houseplants. When it wants to be watered it literally plays dead in front of you, stems and leaves all wilted and drooping down. Give it some water and within an hour it snaps back to life! The price we pay for a little home décor glamour. Needless to say I’ve named her Audrey Junior, the obnoxiously demanding plant from Little Shop Of Horrors.
THE CROTON PETRA PLANT
A stunner, a beauty, really, with its green leaves accented by yellow, orange, and red streaks, like Todd Rundgren circa 1974. This is a very low-maintenance plant (so refreshing after the drama of Miss Polka Dot Plant), and the only liability are spotting on the leaves. Like the other plants in this lot it comes from the Tropics and is highly toxic to your animal friends. Make no mistake, this critter can be moody, too, as one website advised, “Croton Petras can be sensitive to changes in their environment, like moving or repotting, and may react by dropping leaves”.
Garden gear I currently use:
1. Garden Gro Black Gold All-Purpose Potting Mix
2. Schultz 10-15-10 Plant Food
3. Prime Life Distilled Water (1 gallon) – tap water is harmful to houseplants, so give them distilled water
4. Garden Trowel
5. Spray bottle for misting leaves. I also use it for watering them rather than drowning them with a pitcher
So, there you have it, my five pets with leaves. To be continued, I’ve got my eye on even more tropical foliage. Have I even mentioned that I’ve been breathing a lot easier since these guys came over? My congestion’s almost completely gone, and these bad kids tie everything in the place together, to boot. Happy Earth Day!
