Thursday, April 28, 2011

The Andy Seven Inventory


It's every disgruntled worker's fantasy to walk off the job, but how many actually do it? Well, two months ago I did. I was so angry when I walked off I left my things on my desk, and you have to be seriously pissed off to do that. A month later I received two boxes of my things FedEx'ed to me with a packing slip some poor soul at work probably had to type out, so just so his/her efforts weren't in vain, I give you The Andy Seven Inventory:

1 Bottle TRIMSPA Dietary Supplement (approx. 20 pills)
1 Bottle Gaviscon Extra Strength Antacid (approx. 30 pills)
1 Bottle Armani Code (Cologne)
1 pr. Sunglasses in black case
1 Bottle Apple Pectin 500mg (approx. 90 pills)
1 pr. reading glasses in gold case
1 Bottle Aspirin 325mg 3 brown pills; not aspirin (How do they know? - Andy)
2 pack Zantac Maximum Strength (approx. 18 tablets)
1 cord Motorola phone charger
1 Hair Brush
1 Desk top 2011 Taschen Magic Calendar (Highly recommended! - Andy)
1 Bottle of B-12 Dot Vegetarian Formula
1 Halogen Lamp Bulb
1 pr. scissors
1 Cigar, Optimo Peach
Andrew Sevrin Nameplate
1 pack of LA County Sheriff's Dept. Breath Mints
2 Elle Decor Magazines (11/2010 & 12/2010)
1 Toy Coffin (Retail Slut painted on it) (The only good thing I got from that store - Andy)
5 Plastic Las Vegas Coasters (Black & Red)
1 Box of Kleenex (Did they count the tissues, too?- Andy)
1 Cake of Memorex CD-R's
1 Mouse Pad Artistic Painting (Dali's "Persistence of Memory" - How ironic! - Andy)
1 Set of Small Earphones for to digital audio (SIC) (Hello, they're called earbuds - Andy)
3 Packets Starbucks Iced Tea (SIC - it was coffee) Instant Drink Mix
2001 Thomas Guide Los Angeles and Orange County
1 Bottle Fantastik Cleaner
1 Staples Stapler
2 Boxes of Samoas Girl Scout Cookies
1 Envelope with 2009 Birthday and Holiday cards
1 Frame with Certificate from Department of Children and Family Services (DCFS) - Outstanding Support Staff : Director's Employee Recognition Award - August 2005
1 Certificate of Appreciation - Los Angeles County Registrar - Recorder/County Clerk's Office
1 Vintage Can of Schlitz Beer used to hold pens/pencils
1 Ceramic Frog Figurine with 7 quarters, 6 nickels, 3 pennies, 1 dime
Salt & Pepper shakers (1 each)
1 Halogen Desk Lamp
1 Best Buy gift card ($25 value)
1 Starbucks gift card ($15 value)
1 Maggiano's gift card ($25 value) (I wonder if it's good at the bar? - Andy)
1 small tin TRIMSPA with 3 red tablets
1 small tin with thumb tacks
1 Tide-To-Go Spot Remover pen
4 boxes of matches
3 Cigarette Lighters
2 Cologne Samples (POLO and HUGO BOSS)
1 tin with pennies ($0.67)
1 coin from Costa Rica (50 colones)

Well, there you have it: an inventory list that summarizes what makes me tick. A lot of pills, smokes and sexy cologne to seal it all up. And I'm back doing what I do best, making cool clothes. Goodnight, everybody!

3 comments:

Busy Gal said...

Good I want a leather t-shirt!

Cindy Blog-A-Liddle said...

I'm amazed they returned the stuff to you at all. And no one pocketed the coins or the gift cards!

Can't wait to see photos of the clothes you make. If you're anything like that Busy Gal of yours I'm sure you're amazing.

Andy 7 said...

Actually, I'm working with Rebecca now. Before I took on government work I was her assistant, so I'm returning to my old job. Thanks for the comments, Cindy.